Song my mother taught me
by Lilya
Summary: Before ObiWan Kenobi, there was Ben. Before the Jedi, there was a son.
1. When Angels Fly Away

Title: Song my mother taught me

Author: Lilya

Genre: Angst/General

Summary: Before Obi-Wan Kenobi, there was Ben. Before the Jedi, there was a son.

Main characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, OCs

Rating: G

Disclaimer: Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi belongs to George Lucas and so does Qui-Gon Jinn. Leena, Euan & the rest of the family belong to me. The song used, known as "Mellow the monlight" or as "The Spinning Wheel" , is a traditional piece and not boud by copryright laws.

Author's note: 1) English is not my native tongue. If you find any mistake – which I'm sure you will – please correct me.

**Song my mother taught me**

I. When Angels Fly Away

Year 57 B.B.Y.

The sun was setting over Coruscant, painting the sky in red and purple as brilliant as the finest silk.

Somehow, a few rays had found their way through the maze of skyscraper and into the room above the fabric shop.

The house was clearly old – as old as the shop, as it was proudly announced on the sign at the front – but the rooms were all large and warm, full of light and air.

On the cream-colored walls hanged tasteful pictures and various diplomas, while one side was completely occupied by a large bookshelf. Nearby, two comfortable-looking couches, some chairs and some small tables had been arranged to form a cozy corner for conversation.

A few precious details – a cushion not plumped here, a book left on the table, a forgotten toy-robot there – showed that the room was indeed used for everyday living and not preserved for "official matters" like a cold museum.

A woman sat on a rocking chair by the window. Her needlework lay forgotten on her lap while her blue eyes gazed at the city, drinking in the fading light.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips as she turned to look at the cradle at her feet – and the baby peacefully sleeping inside of it.

Leena's eyes filled with tears. Her own heart seemed to beat more slowly, as if about to break or burst.

She didn't know how long it would be – she had forgotten again, but she refused to look it up.

What was the point?

Only to receive another stab in the heart?

It would be all too soon anyway.

Her baby, her Ben…soon he would be gone.

Since it had become final, Euan, her husband, had told her over and over again not to spend too much time with him, not to think too much about what had happened – but Leena didn't want to.

She would think about it every day – reliving every single day through her memory.

How happy she had been one she had found out she was pregnant… This time she hadn't been as afraid as she had been with Owen, their firstborn.

She had done it once, she could do it again – and that calm confidence had allowed her to concentrate completely on the small life growing inside of her.

The pregnancy hadn't been exactly a smooth journey – none ever was – but it could have been much worse.

She had anticipated the birth instead of dreading it – she couldn't wait to properly meet her son.

Leena smiled to herself as she remembered the joy and awe of holding Ben for the first time. He was perfect, simply perfect.

A thousand wishes had filled her heart – she wished for him to be happy, and healthy and loved and…

And then she had noticed something strange about the Healers' behavior – right after they had performed the first tests on Ben.

The Jedi Knights had showed up the day before they were discharged – and had been forced to beat a hasty retreat by a rather well-flung vase of Corellian Lilies.

(Leena would smirk to herself in grim satisfaction forever for this)

As soon as she had seen them, she had understood – and consequentially freaked out.

Later, after the Healers managed to calm her down and give her a mild sedative, Euan had sat down beside her and confirmed what she already suspected.

He had tried to tell her just how high the count of those blasted midi-chlorians was, but Leena had refused to know – she still didn't know it.

Even through the sweet mist of the drug, her answer had been only one: no.

It had began then a war between her and the rest of the family that had dragged on for months and months – almost one year now.

In the end, she hadn't been able to old out against all of them. But even through she had accepted, her feelings were all but quieted.

Right in that moment, little Ben woke up and began to fuss and squirm.

"M-ma. M-ma." he mumbled in his babyish, unsure voice.

Leena smiled and picked him up from the cradle.

"What's wrong, little love?" she said, checking if he was wet. But he was not, and he couldn't be already hungry. "Bad dreams?"

Was it even possible for him to have nightmares? So soon?

Perhaps he felt what was about to happen – or had he only caught on her own mood?

Ben kept on squirming and she adjusted her hold on him, gently rocking him in her arms. Standing there against the window, Leena began to sing.

"_Mellow the moonlight to shine is beginning_

_Close by the window young Ailyn is spinning _

_Bent o'er the fire her blind grandmother sitting _

_Is crooning and moaning and drowsily knitting_"

It was an ancient song she had learned from her grandmother – luckily. She didn't think many people knew that kind of songs anymore. And this one was the only one who'd get Ben to sleep or calm him down when he was upset.

Leena smiled at him, mesmerized by his big blue eyes and his soft features.

He must have gotten that affinity for old songs from her as well as the color of his eyes.

"_Merrily cheerily noiselessly whirring_

_Swings the wheel, spins the wheel while the foot's stirring_

_Sprightly and lightly and merrily ringing_

_Trills the voice of the young maiden singing_"

She still couldn't believe her Ben was going to leave.

How had it come to this?

Not that she had something against the Knights – they were honorable and famous and, well, vital to their Republic. There had been a few Jedi among her relatives already, but still, the Order moved and operated on a completely different level, and even if their Temple was in the city, it might as well have been one hundred light-years away.

Why her baby? Why Ben?

"_Lazily, easily, swings now the wheel round_

_Slowly and lowly is heard now the reel's sound _

_Noiseless and light to the lattice above her _

_Then maid steps and leaps to the arms of her lover_"

In a few months, he would turn one – and she wouldn't be there to celebrate his birthday.  
She would never sing to him or hold his hand as he learned to walk. He was already beginning to talk, but she would never hear him call "mama" again or know how his voice sounded beyond that first, tentative word…

They had told her he could be great. That she had no right to deny him his future.

But that was precisely why she had been so contrary – she hated the thought of making this choice for him.

Who could tell what he would have chosen, if he had been old enough and had known enough of both worlds?

What right did they have do deny him a normal life?

How could anyone know if he would have been happy in the end?

"_Slower and slower and slower the wheel swings_

_Lower and lower and lower the reel rings_

_'__Ere the reel and the wheel stop their ringing and moving_

_Through the grove the young lovers by moonlight are roving_"

Leena was torn in two, between her loyalty to the her world and her love for her son. Nobody had realized that, but the bloodiest battle she had fought had been against her diverging emotions.

Either way, guilt devoured her.

Alone, she hadn't resisted the pressure put on her.

Everybody agreed – deep down, she still didn't.

There was really no choice, Euan told her so from the beginning.

But she couldn't give up her child without a fight, without trying…It was hard enough living with that.

Ben was smiling and laughing that soft, indefinite baby laughter. Leena smiled back and kept on cradling him and singing.

"_Merrily, cheerily, noiselessly whirring_

_Swings the wheel, spins the wheel while the foot's stirring_

_Sprightly and lightly and merrily ringing_

_Trills the voice of the young maiden singing,_

_Merrily cheerily noiselessly whirring_

_Swings the wheel, spins the wheel while the foot's stirring…_"

* * *

A light-haired man lingered in the doorway – watching his wife dress their second born. She was singing something, but so low that he couldn't make out the words or the melody. 

"Leena?"

"Yes, Euan?" She said, without looking at him.

"It's almost time."

"I know." Leena replied calmly, wrapping Ben up in a blanket.

"What are you doing?" Euan said. "They'll have their stuff at the Temple and you know they're not allowed to have…things…"

She didn't say anything, but a definite change in the atmosphere around her clearly stated that he had lost a good occasion to keep his mouth shut.

He hung his head. "I'll let you know when we must go."

Leena nodded, still without turning around. As he left, she started singing softly again – as if she was whispering a secret meant only for her and the child.

One hour later, their air taxi left the couple as close to the Temple as civilians were allowed to get. A Knight and a woman waited about 6 meters away.

Leena had the feeling all of this had been staged for her benefit – as a way to make her accept she was giving up Ben.

Instinctively, she hugged him closer, ignoring Euan's exasperated look.

Both couples moved toward each other – meeting a little more than half way.

The woman stepped forward to greet them, a warm smile on her face.

Leena took advantage of this brief seconds to study her. She was older than her by at least 15 years – her features spoke of kindness and firmness of character, while the soft, gentle tone of her voice suggested a caring and compassionate personality.

She seemed to understand Leena's sorrow.

"I am Shiri Kalas." she said, looking straight at her. "I'm one of the Crèche Masters. Your son will be assigned to my group of wards." She glanced at the small bundle in her arms, noting the blanket and the clothes. "Good thinking in covering him like that, madam. Even in this season, the nights are still chilly."

Leena nodded dully. Part of her was glad for Master Kalas' display of common sense, while the other was howling she didn't need that woman's acknowledgment.

She resolutely met her eyes – a silent conversation seemed to take place between the two women.

Meanwhile, the two men present shifted uncomfortably.

Slowly, as if her arms were made of stone, Leena reached out. Master Kalas gently took Ben from her arms and adjusted him more comfortably in her arms.

"Thank you." She said solemnly.

Leena just stood there, staring at them.

"We shall go now…" Euan said nervously, afraid his wife would might pull a crazy stunt.

As he took her arm, she forcefully wrenched it from his grasp and moved toward the Crèche Master.  
Before her husband or the Jedi could stop her, Leena pressed one last loving, desperate kiss to Ben's forehead.

Then she stumbled back, even through no one had touched her. Tears were already streaming down her face.

She stole one last glance, then she turned around and run back into the air-taxi. Owen hastily bowed to the Knights and joined her.

The taxi took off.

Leena curled on the seat and cried, cried all the way home, unable to stop. Broken by her sobs, Ben's song quietly flowed through her lips.

* * *

This is the first thing I've managed to write after a bad case of writer's block and several problems in Real Life that didn't help at all. 

This means I'll really need your honest opinion on this.

I've also thought of a couple of possible chapters to follow – whether I try to write them or not, depends on how the story will be received.

Please, review and let me know what you thought of this story and if I should add those two chapters.   
Thank you

EDIT: I have corrected a couple of mistakes – thanks to phantom-jedi1 for signaling them – I just hope I didn't add more. Now that would be embarrassing. I also changed Obi-Wan/Ben's father name from Owen to Euan – having him share a name with his oldest son was getting too confusing.


	2. Memory

To everyone who reviewed the first chapter, my most heartfelt thanks. It was more than I expected and it gave me the confidence to continue this story (beyond the 2 or 3 installments I had anticipated – at the moment I'm writing the 7th. I hope that won't be a problem).

This chapter would have never be written without you, so it's dedicated to you – especially to Alien Roxi. It's not quite what you had in mind, but I hope you'll like it anyway.

Thank you again.

II. Memory

From Menos Grande's "Study on the effects and expressions of the Force in gifted Younglings" – chapter I, page 22.

_Yet it is my opinion that the Force might start manifesting Itself even earlier, in much subtler ways. _

_Some of the Force-sensitive Younglings recalled punctually experiences or facts they had witnessed when they were but babes. _

_While some cases could easily be dismissed as imaginary memories gained through observation of the Temple's everyday life or reconstructed after hearing frequent retelling of the accident in question, in most others the Younglings examined have provided truthful and precise details that could not be acquired other than through direct observation._

_The matter has yet to be fully studied. At the moment, we can only conclude that most of those recollections are indeed actual memories, formed at an age where intellectual development is just beginning. This is most awe-inspiring. _

_It is presumed that the Younglings' farthest memories fade with time and are completely erased by their tenth year, seemingly replaced by more recent and important ones. _

_Nevertheless, I believe that as the Force allowed them to gain them, It allows them to retain them, perhaps not completely. From a clear scene it could fade to a single image, or a smell or a sound – perhaps even a feeling._

_The strongest, most important memories remains, buried deep within, in a place too delicate to reach or touch._

* * *

It was a quiet night in the Temple's Infirmary – a rare event.

A couple of Jedi Knights were still under observation, but it was just a precaution since both were well on their way to recovery.

There only occupied bacta tank was being used to cure a lungs infection a new Padawan had come down with.

For this night, the staff had been reduced to two Healers and one Apprentice – more than enough to cover the present cases and alert their colleagues should an emergency arise.

It seemed it wouldn't be the case.

Around 3 A.M., Healer Egal was sitting at the screen linked to the pod (as bacta tanks were affectionately known among Healers), monitoring the patient's vital signs and progresses.

He reached for his Alderaan Jasmine Tea – and suddenly froze, the cup half-way to his mouth. Slowly, as if afraid to disturb a bird, he put it back on the table.

He might have been wrong, but he was sure that… Ah. There it was again.

"Cadros, do you have a moment?"

Since the Master was copying a report, he had all the moments in the world. "What is it, Egal?" he asked, leaning toward the screen.

"Look at the signal for Brain Wave Activity. There – did you see that?"

Cadros frowned as well, deep in thought. "It looks…regular, for a disturbance. Too regular." Then, the older man's feature relaxed considerably. "Ah, now I recognize it. Padawan Kenobi is dreaming, nothing to worry about."

Egal, however, was surprised. "Dreaming? In a pod?"

Cadros shrugged. "It happens, from time to time. He was given only a light sedative, not placed in a deep trance. His infection isn't – well, by now almost wasn't – serious enough to require that."

The younger Healer nodded. "I see. Thank you, Cadros." He turned back to the screen, reaching for his tea again. "May his dreams be peaceful, then."

One had to be seriously injured to look forward to a bacta session – even the most experienced and controlled Jedi Knights inwardly groaned when they were about to step in.

Sure, patients were put into a healing trance, but the mere thought of being locked up in that dark, cramped place was unsettling. The uneasiness often managed to slip through the sedatives, allowing them to sleep and heal but not to rest.

It was part of the reason why, given the patient's tender age, Healer Charis had opted for the nightly run.

However, Obi-Wan was very much at ease and sleeping like a baby.

It was all thanks to the song.

"_Lazily, easily, swings now the wheel round_

_Slowly and lowly is heard now the reel's sound…__"_

From a place buried deep within – from the core of his being, a woman's voice was singing to him. It echoed through his mind again and again, yet it felt real, as if she had been right by his side.

Obi-Wan couldn't say who she was. All he knew was that the song was for him and him alone – and so were the warmth and love in her voice. He could feel them, like a gentle caress to his soul.  
It made him feel warm.

Healers Cadros and Egal couldn't know, but they were wrong. Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi was not dreaming, but rather – remembering.

"_Slower and slower and slower the wheel swings_

_Lower and lower and lower the reel rings_

_'__Ere the reel and the wheel stop their ringing and moving_

_Through the grove the young lovers by moonlight are roving_"

In the dark, Obi-Wan smiled.

"_Mellow the moonlight to shine is beginning_

_Close by the window young Ailyn is spinning…__"_

* * *

Final notes: The first charter has been corrected and (very) slightly revised. The only major things I changed are a couple of names.

If you liked this new one, review and let me know.


	3. Aftermath

Again, thank you to all my reviewers. I decided to focus back on Leena and her family - hope you'll like it.

III. Aftermath

The first weeks after coming back from the Temple were tempestuous at best.

As soon as she came home, Leena moved her things into the guest room, locked herself in and barely came out for a week.

She lay on the bed and cried for days, cried until she run out of tears.

In the last days, members of the family took it upon themselves to talk to her through the door – after the vase accident at the Hospital, it was deemed safer than trying the few times she left the room to use the freshner or eat.

One by one, they reminded her of all the good reasons why they had to give up Ben. Inside, Leena covered her ears with a pillow and hid her head under the blankets.

It wasn't that she didn't want to hear it as much as she needn't hear it. She knew them all already.

Her father-in-law reminded her that at the Temple her child would fulfill his destiny.

Ypa, her sister, said that if he wasn't trained, he could have become dangerous.

Euan underlined the fact that, among his peers, he would be more at ease than he could ever be among regular people. That if they had kept him, sooner or later it would have come the day when they wouldn't know how to deal with him anymore.

(Luckily, the other reason why Force-sensitive babies were given up – i.e. popular belief stated that they brought bad luck on their own families since most of them ended up orphaned anyway – had never been an issue. Euan himself not only threw out a costumer for saying that, but also let her know she wasn't welcome in their shop anymore. And Leena wasn't even present to the exchange.)

She knew it. She knew all of it.

But all the good reasons of the galaxy could not stop the throbbing pain in her heart.

Eventually, when she could take a breath without feeling ripped apart all over again, she came out.

Around the same time, Ben ceased to be mentioned in the family.

Leena, of course, noticed it but didn't say anything. They thought they were doing it for her sake and she didn't want to talk about Ben with them anyway. What could they say, when she had been the one to spend most of her time with him "against all common sense," as they had put it?

She had her memories of Ben – memories she would never share.

As suddenly as she had closed herself off, she forced herself back into normal life. Everybody – except Euan, thankfully – passed on their congratulations for her recovery and advised her to leave it all behind.

Leena curved her lips and thanked them, but the smile never reached her eyes.

When Ypa went to see her for a little heart-to-heart between sister and told her to forget about him, Leena said nothing.

And when her father-in-law remarked there would be other children, she told him not to count on it. It would be years before Leena could think of having children without feeling a hypocrite and a traitor.

This haste to forget bothered her. She didn't want to forget Ben.

Leena would not cling to her misery – no one relished in sorrow, after all, and it was not her way. The gash would stop bleeding and close, eventually. But the scar would be there forever, from time to time aching or tingling.

Some told her she shouldn't punish herself, but Leena never saw it as a punishment. She just didn't want to forget Ben. It was the least she could and would do.

Against all expectations, she didn't hate the Jedis or the Temple. It was as if part of the love she felt for her baby had been transferred to the place he was staying and the people he lived with.

Hours stretched into days, day into weeks and months.

One day, Leena began to sing as she went about the house. Down in the shop, Euan heard her and smiled to himself – even though there was a hint of sadness in his eyes.

He never said it, but he had guessed there was a song his beloved would not sing anymore, not out loud. It would not echo around the rooms again.

Still, as time went by, sometimes Leena would move a chair near the window and look outside as the light changed and faded. In the growing dusk, she would sing quietly to herself.

_"__Merrily, cheerily, noiselessly whirring_

_Swings the wheel, spins the wheel while the foot's stirring _

_Sprightly and lightly and merrily ringing_

_Trills the voice of the young maiden singing __…"_

* * *

Liked it? Hated it? Review and let me know 


	4. In a Name

_To Frodogenic - maybe that's not what you had in mind, but I hope you'll like it anyway _

**IV. In A Name**

Only ten minutes to go.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, fourteen-year-old Padawan, swallowed hard.

Only ten minutes and his first undercover mission would begin. True, it was nothing big – they were only going to pose as father and son to lure out a famous defrauder and catch him red-handed – but it didn't change the fact it _**was**_ his first undercover mission.

He sighed. He had spent the whole journey rehearsing his part, but now he felt completely empty-headed.

What if he screwed up?

It wasn't going to be easy. He had been instructed not to form strong attachments and now he was supposed to fake one.

Sure, Qui-Gon Jinn was his Master, but their bond had barely begun: they hadn't even been a team for one year.

Seeing his reflection in the spaceship's window, he frowned at himself.

'Enough of this nervousness' He thought. 'We can do this. And if I can't do this, I'm not worthy of being a Jedi.'

The young Padawan concentrated on his own regular breathing and leaned back on his seat.

Eight minutes to go.

'Plenty of time for a quick meditation.'

Then, he slipped into a light trance. Unconsciously, he began to hum an old tune.

Qui-Gon Jinn glanced at him, but did not disturb him. Through their bond, he could feel only tranquility.

The Knight grinned to himself.

Seven minutes later, the ship landed.

Qui-Gon placed a hand on his shoulders. "Are you ready, Padawan?"

He nodded. "Yes, Master."

"Good." He smiled encouragingly. "Did you choose your name for the mission?"

Obi-Wan smiled back. Actually, he hadn't, but…

"You know, I always though that Ben had a nice ring."

* * *

Liked it?  
Hated it?  
Review and let me know  



	5. Family Portrait

I'm not entirely satisfied with this chapter – I hope you'll like it anyway.

V. Family Portrait

Leena put down the roll of fabric for a moment. "Zyva, darling, is there something wrong?" she asked.

On the threshold to the backroom stood a little girl. "Mama, I is hungry."

Leena smiled at her, then turned toward the other end of the room. "Euan, I'm taking a break."

Her husband, who was dusting the higher shelves of the shop, nodded.

"Come, Zyva." Leena said. "I'll fix you something – is your sister coming too?"

The girl shook her head. "Gala is not hungry. She studies."

"And Owen is still at Shawn's. I guess it's just the two of us, then."

Zyva smiled as her mother picked her up and carried her up the stairs.

When they reached the kitchen, she put her down at the table and went to open a cupboard. "What do you want to eat? Buns with cream or biscuits?"

She thought about it for a moment. "Biscuits!"

Leena opened the tin and placed it on the table, then she took a bun for herself.

"Don't eat too many, dear. And don't try to hide them in your pockets for later." She said, gently but firmly.

Ziva immediately put on her best "innocent-baby" face – whose effect was somewhat spoiled by the two biscuits she stuffed in her mouth.

Her mother smiled and bit into the bun, while making a mental note to check if there was still some of Gala's favorite dango cream in the refrigerator.

'She'll want some when she's done studying. Perhaps I'll check on her to make sure she's fine. I shouldn't complain because she takes studying at heart, but I don't want her to push herself too much.' She glanced at the clock. 'It's a bit later than I though. If Owen isn't back in one hour or so, I'll call him to ask him about dinner.'

She turned back to the table – and another smile bloomed on her lips.

As she watched her youngest daughter eat – and try to look for whole biscuits without appearing to do so – Leena thought for the nth time how glad she was Zyva's midi-chlorians count wasn't high enough to catch the interest of the Jedi Knights again.

She couldn't have taken another wound like that again.

Despite all those years and the girls' arrival, she was still hurting inside every time she thought of Ben.

And she thought of him every day.

'Gone, but not forgotten…' she mused as she poured herself a glass of yavanni juice.

How could other families stand this?

Perhaps they had other children – well, so had she, but neither Gala, nor Zyva, who resembled him so much, could ever claim the piece of her heart that belonged to Ben.

It had taken her six years to be able to bear the thought of other children – and still, when they told her she was carrying a girl, she had been secretly relieved. Both times.

It was like a sign saying "It's ok, you're not really trying to replace Ben."

Perhaps living on another planet helped – Jedi came from all over the galaxy, didn't they?

Living right under the shadow of the Temple wasn't easy, even when it was metaphorically speaking.

Still, one day the quarter of city that stood between their house and the Jedi felt too little – and way too much the next.

"Mummy?"

Leena looked down into the worried face of her daughter. She smiled sadly and picked her up, making her sit down in her lap. "Sorry, Zyva. I was distracted."

"You thought about little brother?" the girl asked, snuggling closer.

Leena had to bite the inside of her lips not to giggle at that. She wondered how Ben – by now thirteen years old, if he still lived – would have taken Zyva's definition if he had known.

'Not very well, I'd bet – but what wouldn't I give to see it…'

She banished that thought and answered her question. "Yes, mummy was thinking about Ben."

Zyva hugged her tightly, without saying a word.

Leena hugged her back, once again thankful to have her in her life. And it wasn't because she looked like Ben – but because she was the only one of her children who didn't mind hearing their mother thought about him as well.

How weird, how ironic it was.

Owen was the only one who had actually met him, but he never spoke of him. Leena considered he probably barely remembered him at all – after all, he was only two when Ben was born.

Gala didn't say anything, but she was probably jealous that unknown kid could hold some of her mother's love.

Thinking about it, perhaps Owen was jealous as well.

Euan was an entirely different matter. Leena knew it hadn't been an easy choice for him either – but he had reacted by trying to forget, as most people did.

She respected his choice without judging it – as he did for hers.

Caressing Zyva's hair, Leena thought of how much she loved her family. All five of them.

* * *

Like it? Hated it? 

Leave a review and let me know


	6. Holding On

VI. Holding On

Sometimes Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi wondered if he was breaking the Jedi code.

After all, they were not supposed to own anything or form attachments.

And Obi-Wan owned something – something he was quite attached to.

He didn't even know how it came in his possession – it had always been there, for as long as he could remember.

He could go on for months without thinking about it, but when he was really tired or discouraged or sad, there it was. It soothed him and relaxed him immediately – though he had no idea how something so simple could have such an effect on him.

When he was a child and had just begun the lesson, he used to employ it to slip more easily into a meditating trance.

Sometimes he wondered if he depended too much on it.

But then, he reasoned, no one could truly own a song.

Obi-Wan reached for his datapad and selected some of the songs Bant had been kind enough to download for him.

He made sure that a certain song was included, even though it was not the same – this one had instruments and the voice was completely different.

It could never be the same, but Bant told him it was the only version available.

But it was all right.

Even if his whole – and rather extensive – collection of musical files had been completely erased, it wouldn't have changed a thing.

As the song began to play softly in the background, he sat down and started his reading assignment.

After all, nothing could ever take it away from his memory.

_Merrily, cheerily, noiselessly whirring…_

* * *

I realize this chapter is pretty useless... ' _  
_

Whether you liked it anyway or hated it, please leave a review and I'll know.


	7. Interlude

VII. Singing In The Rain

What can be worse than having to work on one report?

…Ok, apart having to work on several reports, all way overdue…

Right – having to work on several boring reports at various states of overdue-ness while one's teenager Padawan has monopolized the refresher and thus, for the next three hours or so, he won't be of any help at all.

Let's just hope that he won't…

"_Oooh Kitty, mee darling, remee-ember…_"

There he goes **_again_**.

Mace told me I shouldn't complain, since he's probably the only male teenager Padawan who willingly takes a shower every once in a while.

The credit is more likely to go to Bant and Siri Tachi anyway.

But still, what's with Obi-Wan and singing in the 'fresher?

"_I tooook off my hat and I did sa-aluuute her_

_I diiid sa-alute her most courageously…And I don't remember anymooore…_"

…Did he actually sing that?

I can't believe it… At least this one was cut short.

I wonder if he did even when he was younger – or if he started only now that he has the 'fresher all to himself.

It actually wouldn't be so bad if he only could sing something a bit more modern. How old can these songs be anyway?

Why can't he sing something from, I don't know, Steel Lady or Al-Yan Kovic?

His singing voice is pretty good now that it got less squeaky.

"_Oh Danee booy, the piiipes, the pipes are caa-alling_

_From glen to glennn aand dooo-wn the mountainsiide_

_The summer's goone and aall the flowers are dying…"_

Oh, Force.

Doesn't he know any song a little less whiny?

How can one work while being subjected to _**this**_?

Obi-Wan definitely missed his true call, he should have gone to the Torture Squad.

If we had a Torture Squad.

"_So faare thee well fa-ather _

_And mother aaadieu_

_And my sisters and broothers _

_Farewell unto youuu…_"

Now that I think about it, Obi-Wan singing this stuff _**is**_ a Torture Squad.

Next time I have to question somebody, instead of using the Force I'll send my Padawan to take a shower.

They'll cave in no time.

Yes, but then I'd get a report for inhuman treatment…

Why must I be the only one to suffer this?

"_Shooot me dooown like a soldier,_

_Do not haaaaang me like a dooog…_"

Don't tempt me, Padawan!

This one is even whinier than usual!

Could it get any worse than this?

"_E daans des an sge m'aniré_

_Sge antend le lu le renà e la belet, _

_E daans des an sge m'aniré_

_Sge antend le lu e le renà schanté_"

…apparently, it can.

That does it. I'm leaving.

* * *

Songs quoted (in order): 

1 – Kitty

2 – As I roved out

3 – Danny Boy

4 – Buncloudy

5 – Kevin Barry

6 – La jument de Michao (in French. Instead of the lyrics, I opted for a nearly incomprehensible transcipt.)

All the songs in this chapter are traditional tune and are not subjected to copyright laws.

I wonder how many in times and in how many different ways I'll be killed for this... '

I just got the scene in my head and, well, I couldn't not write it.

Whether you loved it or hated it, let me know.


	8. Glancing Into Your World

VIII. Glancing Into Your World

_39 Years Before the Battle of Yavin _

Qui-Gon Jin didn't believe in chance – he believed in the Force and in all his life he followed Its will, but from time to time he was still amazed to discover a new thread.

Especially when it caught him off guard.

It had all begun with a simple errand his friend Mace had asked him to run on the Temple's behalf. Actually, there were two errands – but the first wouldn't have had the same meaning without this one.

He didn't even have to leave Coruscant – and delivering the last payment for a bill to a fabric shop and retrieving a receipt would hardly be a dangerous.

Since he was going out anyway, Qui-Gon had agreed. Mace had looked quite relieved – apparently, before he and his Padawan returned from a mission, there had been quite a few problems with the accounting division.

The shop wasn't too hard to find. As the Jedi Master stepped inside, he glanced around. Lots of samples were skillfully displayed on the walls or on lower tables, while large rolls of fabric were stocked on the shelves behind the two counters.

Three people stood behind them – a man with blonde hair, a boy who looked only slightly older than his own Padawan and a woman who, at the moment, had her back turned on him.

All three of them were busy serving clients.

Qui-Gon mentally assessed the situation.

The boy – probably the man's son, since he resembled him so much – was patiently going through a huge pile of samples with a Twi'Lek woman. It would be quite some time before he was done.

Both the woman and the man had evidently started earlier – either of them could finish first.

He approached their counter, but stood back a little, signaling his presence without intruding.

The man, however, turned to him to ask him respectfully, "Can we be of assistance, Knight?"

Qui-Gon held up a hand in a conciliatory gesture. "I'm in no hurry. I can wait."

The man turned back to his conversation, unaware that the Jedi was now studying him intently.

'There's something familiar about him…' Qui-Gon mused. 'I can't quite put my finger on it, though.'

He wondered if he had already met him somewhere, but his usually prodigious memory this time didn't throw up any card.

Yet that nagging feeling would not cease.

Finally, the costumer left and the shop-keeper turned to him. "How may we help you, sir?"

Qui-Gon pushed his sensation aside and answered, "I was sent by the Temple to pay our debt."

"That's hardly a debt, sir." He handed him the small computerized register while Qui-Gon reached for his datapad, where he had saved the necessary codes.

As he started typing, the doorbell rang again, signaling the exit of the second client.

"Need a hand?" a feminine voice asked, drawing closer.

"Yes, could you start writing the receipt while I oversee the payment procedure?"

"Of course." Another set of clicking as the woman typed over her register.

Qui-Gon barely noticed the exchange, busy concentrating on the transition.

The shopkeeper added his own codes and a short beep announced that the credits had been successfully transferred.

At the same time, a new client came in.

"Leena, do you mind finishing here?" he asked his wife.

"Not at all, go ahead." A low buzzing sound began as the receipt was printed in double copy.

"I hope you'll excuse me, sir."

"It's no trouble. We're almost done anyway."

As he moved away, Qui-Gon turned to the woman – and only his Jedi training kept him from letting out an undignified gasp of surprise.

Now he knew why the shopkeeper looked so familiar.

The different coloring had fooled him, but the resemblance here was too strong not to notice.

Obi-Wan Kenobi might have his father's chin and mouth, but he had unmistakably gotten the rest of his features from his mother.

Leena handed him one of the receipts and a pen. "You just have to sign my copy here." she explained, meeting his gaze for the first time.

It felt so strange – seeing his Padawan's eyes on a stranger's face.

Qui-Gon would know, he had seen them every day for five years now. They were identical – the same shape, the same bright tone of blue…

But while Obi-Wan's eyes always held an ironic glint, Mrs. Leena's couldn't quite hide the signs of a small, intense pain deep in her soul.

She could probably hide it from the rest of the family, but the Jedi could sense it even now.

Qui-Gon scribbled his name on the dotted line, then took the other copy and put it in his pocket. "Thank you, madam."

"You're most welcome, sir. Dealing with the Temple is always a pleasure. Good day."

A pleasure, she said. A peculiar choice of words.

"Good day to you."

The bell rang as he stepped out into the street.

Instead of continuing his errands, Qui-Gon walked to a nearby pub, ordered a caf and sat in the shadow.

Even though he was certain of what he had seen, he had a lot to think about.

He stayed there for more than one hour as the caf slowly grew cold in the cup, unheeded. Then he stood up, paid for his order and went out again – heading back toward the shop.

When he came in, the woman was alone – not only her husband and son had left, but there was no costumer.

The woman turned her blue eyes on him, clearly surprised to see him there so soon. "Is anything wrong, sir?"

"Actually, madam, I should be asking you that."

Leena opened her mouth to reply, then shut it tightly without saying a word. Through her evident confusion, something else flashed briefly on her face.

"The boy who was helping you here – he's your son, isn't he?" Qui-Gon asked placidly.

"Yes, of course." She replied.

"But – he isn't the only one, is he?" It could have been a strange way to ask if they had other children – if it wasn't for the subtly different tone of his voice.

For a moment, the shop-keeper looked bewildered – then her features schooled themselves in a neutral mask.

"I have two young daughters," she said. "And I had a child – a boy – younger than Owen but older than them." She looked straight at him, her eyes betraying her emotions, as Obi-Wan's still did. "If that's what you were asking, sir."

The Jedi nodded. "It was."

Leena swallowed hard. "Do you…perhaps…I know there are many Jedi at the Temple, but perhaps…you wouldn't happen to…"

He didn't need the Force's suggestion to guess the question she was trying to ask. "Yes, madam. I'm quite sure I know him."

Leena gripped the counter, as if to reassure herself it was all real and not a sort of dream. "Would be so kind to tell me about him, sir?"

"That's why I came back, madam. I thought you might like to hear his news – even after all this time."

"Better late than never, sir. Please, wait a moment." She walked to the door, relief and impatience shining through, and locked it, then slid a "back in a minute" sign around the handle. "I think we should talk about it in the office." She sighed. "I'll need to sit down. Would you mind if I called my daughter too? She'd love to hear about Ben." She added as she lead the way to a door behind the counter.

Qui-Gon wasn't so sure about it, but agreed anyway.

The office was located behind the shop, next to a large storeroom easily accessible from the shop. It was sparsely decorated – a filing cabinet against a wall, a large L-shaped desk with two chairs facing it and a sort of low counter under the window that served as emergency flat surface.

Leena gestured to him one of the chairs as she used an intercom to summon her daughter. Then, instead of moving behind the desk, she sat down on the other, turning it slightly in his direction.

There was a moment of awkward silence, then Qui-Gon cleared his throat.

"How old was your son when you gave him to the temple?"

"Seven months." Leena answered without hesitation. "It was 18 years ago – I suppose he must have changed a lot since then…"

Again, there was an unsaid question in her voice. Qui-Gon could sense her fear clearly.

"He looks like you. That's how I knew." He said.

She visibly relaxed. In that moment, a little girl came into the room. She was about ten years younger than Obi-Wan and while it was a bit soon to say who she had taken after the most, she too had the same eyes as their mother.

Leena gently pulled her on her lap. "Zyva, this Knight knows Ben. He's going to tell us about him."

The little girl's face lit up with curiosity and happiness, but Qui-Gon spoke up before she could start firing away all the questions that came to her mind. "I'm afraid I won't be able to tell you exactly everything. As you know the Jedi Code…"

"…forbids attachments." Leena finished in his place. "We know. We won't ask for his new name – he'll always be Ben to me anyway." She added, warmth creeping into her voice.

"How do you know my little brother?" Zyva said before somebody else could talk over her.

"He is a good friend of my Padawan. It means apprentice." He added, noticing the girl's frown. He wasn't exactly lying – he had just swapped Padawan with Clee Rhara, thinking it more prudent.

"Is he happy?" Leena asked firmly.

"Yes – he's very happy."

A mixture of disappointment and relief flashed across her face. "Good. That's the most important thing."

It occurred to Qui-Gon that, if the answer had been a little less satisfactory, she would have marched on the Temple and demanded her son back.

If Obi-Wan hadn't been **_his_** Padawan, he would have liked to see the Council face her – and the expression on Mace and Yoda's faces.

Leena's voice called him back from his thoughts. "You said Ben is a friend of your Apprentice. Are they good friends?"

"Best friends." He answered. "But he's not his only friend. They are part of a small but close-knitted group of former Crèche-mates."

She smiled – and Zyva jumped at the occasion. "Does he have a girlfriend?"

Qui-Gon was caught way off guard. "Er…not that I know of, no."

"Ooh, I see." A small, knowing smile played on her lips. It reminded him of the way his cheeky Padawan smiled whenever he managed to trick or outsmart him.

Leena squirmed on the chair, vainly looking for the right words to ask the next question.

"How…What kind of person is he?"

There, she said it and the Jedi could think what he wanted.

For his part, Qui-Gon pretended not to notice her solemn expression and allowed a small smile to form on his face. "He's a good boy – intelligent, very loyal and dedicated. At times he tends to be a little defiant, but it's nothing that time won't blunt. I doubt he'll outgrow his stubborn streak, however."

This got a giggle out of Zyva. Leena smiled and caressed her daughter's hair. "I'm not surprised. It runs in the family."

"I'll make sure to let his Master know." Qui-Gon said with an amused grin. "According to what he tells me, Ob...he also possess a mischievous side that usually manifests itself in his sarcastic wit. I trust this runs in the family as well?"

The woman and the girl exchanged that knowing smile again. "Perhaps. Is there anything more you could tell us about him?"

"Well – he's one of the best swordsmen in his age group. And a good pilot, although he doesn't like flying."

"What about his Master? Does he treat him well? Do they get along?" she asked, her voice betraying her subtle worry.

"They are very close. His Master would never intentionally hurt him. Of course, things aren't always perfect. You are raising three children – you certainly know that better than me."

"Possible." She sighed. "I hope his Master is stubborn enough for him."

"They suit each other very well." Qui-Gon commented with only a faint trace of humor in his voice.

A few other questions were asked and answered – but it was Zyva who posed the one that made both adults freeze.

"Can we see Ben?"

Luckily, Leena recovered first. "No, dear. You know we can't."

"Just for a minute. Maybe we could…"

"No"

"But…"

"No buts, Zyva." She said sternly.

The little girl knew that it was final – still, it didn't stop her from crossing her arms and sulk. Her mother unconsciously hugged her closer.

She spoke softly – as if she had been talking to herself. "We can never see him, not even from afar. Perhaps it would be enough for you, Zyva, but not for me. Not for me. If I saw him – I don't know if could keep myself from wanting to see him again. And after a while, I'd want to talk to him and…we can't interfere with his life. We must not tie him down." She sighed. "You don't understand now – but when you're older, you will."

Qui-Gon silently bowed his head to her quiet strength – trying not to think that part of him was actually relieved to hear her decision.

Then, he remembered something else.

"Do you think that this desire could be strengthened also by a picture?" he asked.

Zyva's eyes lit up, but Leena's expression, like her feelings, remained guarded. "I don't know – but it's still a possibility."

The longing was evident in her voice.

"Oh, mum, please…"

Qui-Gon took his datapad from his pocket. "I can sense your strength, madam." He met her gaze. "I think it can be trusted."

Slowly, she nodded. The knight pressed a few keys, recalling the appropriated file. The holo-picture portrayed two boys, but when it finally materialized, two pair of blue eyes immediately focused on the one on the left.

Leena's self control slipped and she automatically reached out toward the picture – halting her gesture halfway.

"He's cute." Zyva chirped, then turned a bit to study Garen Muln, the second boy in the picture.

Leena didn't say anything. She was staring at the picture intensely, as if trying to carve it in her memory.

"Does he eat enough? He looks so skinny…"

Qui-Gon had to snort at that. "His stomach is worse than a black hole, believe me."

She giggled, then let go of Zyva. "You can go now, dear."

The child gave the picture once last glance, then jumped down from her lap. After saying goodbye, she went back upstairs. Qui-Gon switched off his datapad and followed Leena back to the shop.

"Thank you. For everything. You probably shouldn't have, but…" she said shyly.

"No need to worry about that, madam." Qui-Gon replied. On the threshold, he turned back to her, meeting her gaze and holding it. "Your son is a good boy – he has a good heart. He will be a great Jedi. You must be proud of him."

"I already am." Leena said. "And so is his Master, I'll bet."

Her eyes told him he might have fooled Zyva, but not her – and that she didn't expect him to admit it anyway.

He grinned. "Oh, his Master couldn't be prouder." He held out his hand. "It was a pleasure knowing you and your family."

She shook it. "Likewise, sir."

The bell chimed as he stepped out again.

* * *

Back on track with a longer chapter - the long awaited reunion. Sort of. I hope you liked it anyway. 

Whether you did or not, leave a review and let me know.

Oh, and speaking of reviews:

For Kyer (who reviewed anonimously and didn't leave an e-mail address, leaving me no other way to answer. In case a mod. drops by): Well, since the whole story is centered around one "Earth oldie", I thought I could get away with it... '


	9. Songs we sing

IX. Songs we sing

_Coruscant – 27 Years Before the Battle of Yavin_

The Force isn't the only thing to rule the Universe – there are also several Unwritten Rules, all the more powerful for their unwritten-ness.

One of these rules says that given a sufficiently large category of beings, one of the first thing they will colonize will invariably be a bar.

Thus were born the various cops bar, cut-throats bar, Wookies bar, Senators bar…

And also the Jedi bar.

It had not been planned – it had just happened. Sooner or later, every Jedi felt like chatting with his or her friends away from the Temple or go out to unwind after stressful mission.

Even Padawans, who tended to avoid it in fear of running into their Masters, somehow always ended their outings there.

Perhaps it was the fact it was close to the Temple. Or that Mr. Aidan would invariably see they got home all in one piece and with their clothes still on.

The Bucket was practically an institution, as old as the Temple itself.

It had been moved more than a few times, changed owners, but somehow the name stuck. So did the atmosphere: the neon sign perpetually switched off, lights always so low that it was hard to navigate around the scattered tables without a little help from the Force, music softly playing, most non-alcoholic drinks in the galaxy on the shelves behind the counter and a selection of alcoholic ones on those beneath the counter for when things had gone spectacularly pear shaped.

It was a sanctuary outside their regular sanctuary.

The younger patrons were always astonished to learn that none of the numerous enemies of the Jedi had ever attempted anything there.

If there was an unwritten rule along the lines of "Nobody messes at The Bucket," it was all because of the corollary: never mind the Jedi, beware of the owners.

Some of them became legends among the younger generations as much as honored Jedi Masters.

Mr. Aidan had good chances of becoming one as well.

The first word that came to mind upon seeing him was "huge."

Other words to follow were likely to be "doesn't talk much, but listens a lot" and "does he sleep **_at all_**?"

As all the Jedi knew, he was the kindest, most compassionate man alive – but he wasn't likely to be so to anyone who would cause disruption in **_his_** bar.

He was also very strict when it came to hiring personnel.

But that was the secret of the Bucket – a secret not even the Jedi knew.

Through the years, all the people who owned or worked at the Bucket had been family members of Jedi.

Not every family could give up their children with a light heart. That was how the ring was born, by chance more than by plan.

The older families helped the younger overcome the pain or learn how to live with it – then, it was their choice. They could forget everything or pass it forward.

It was late afternoon and the bar was empty, until Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi entered and sat at the counter, looking too old for his age.

"A glass of Schwartz, please." He asked politely.

"Right away, Master." The young waitress replied, hardly checking as she grabbed the bottle.

Obi-Wan was clearly troubled, but not enough to forget his manners. "Thank you." he said as the glass was placed before him.

The waitress smiled, pushing back the strands of dark brown and bright-red-clearly-dyed hair that had escaped from her braid. In the faint light, Obi-Wan couldn't make out the color of her eyes.

He drank and asked for another, but in the short time it took her to fill the glass again – she had kept the bottle at hand – his thoughts caught up with him again.

The last missions, the Council, his Padawan…it all weighed heavily on his mind.

Especially his Padawan.

Sometimes he wondered if Anakin would have fared better under an older Master – if his age was the reason why it was so hard for them to get along.

He rubbed his forehead, trying to banish those dark thoughts, but they proved quite resistant.

The waitress glanced at him, then went back to arranging the bottles and glasses. And then, she began to sing.

"_Are you going to Scarborough Fair?  
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme  
Remember me to one who lives there  
She once was a true love of mine_"

Her voice was low and soft, as if she had been singing to herself – but Obi-Wan heard her perfectly.

His focus slowly shifted from his worries to the song and the girl's voice.

She glanced at him to search for signs of annoyance, but, finding none, went on.

"_Tell her to make me a cambric shirt  
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme  
Without no seams nor needlework  
Then she'll be a true love of mine_"

He knew that song – at least, he knew a slightly different version of that song. While not one of his absolute favorites, he liked it.

Obi-Wan was surprised. He had not expected to hear someone else singing it – at least not singing it like this, in an everyday environment. It was almost surreal.

"_Tell her to find me an acre of land  
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme  
Between the salt water and the sea strand  
Then she'll be a true love of mine_"

There was something about her voice…he couldn't quite put his finger on it. A sense of – familiarity. A warmth he couldn't place.

He realized it reminded him of "his" song, of the voice in his head.

He reasoned it must be because the waitress, like the other mysterious singer, was singing without any accompaniment.

"_Tell her to reap it in a sickle of leather  
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme  
And to gather it all in a bunch of heather  
Then she'll be a true love of mine_"

He knew it was almost over. Before his rational, proper side could take over, he began to sing with her.

"_Are you going to Scarborough Fair?  
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme  
Remember me to one who lives there  
She once was a true love of mine_"

She lingered softly on the last note, then smiled at him.

Obi-Wan smiled back, feeling a little less foolish and a lot closer to his actual age.

"It was a beautiful song. You sing very well." He said.

"Thank you." The waitress said, "So do you. I never thought I'd meet somebody else who knew it."

"Neither did I. Where did you learn it?"

"From my mother. It was the only one that could get me to sleep when I was little – and it's still my favorite." She added, a bit shyly. "It always relaxes me. My siblings have their favorites, too. One each."

"I have a favorite song as well." He confided her. "It's an old ballad. I drove a friend of mine crazy to make her find it and download it."

"My mum says we drove her quite crazy, too, until she found the right song for each one of us."

A clock struck the hour.

"Recess is over…" Obi-Wan muttered as he paid for his drink.

"A Jedi's duty is never done, I guess. I hope we'll see you again at the Bucket, sir." She noted dutifully.

"Thank you for sharing your song with me…" he glanced at her name-tag. "Zyva."

A small, knowing smile curled her lips. "You're welcome – sir. Very welcome."

* * *

This chapter wasn't easy to write, but now is one of my favorites. Just in case - the song used is a traditional tune and is not under the copyright laws. Personally, I had Simon & Garfunkel's recording in mind (and in the headphones) when I wrote it.

So - liked it? Hated it? Leave a review and let me know.


	10. Silver Screen

X. Silver Screen

_Coruscant – 20 Years Before the Battle of Yavin_

Zyva laughed. "I can't believe she said that!"

"Word for word, I swear." Davi chuckled. "And you should have seen her face."

She smiled and reached for her glass, but found it empty.

"I'll get you another." Davi said as he stood up.

"Thanks."

She watched him pick his way through the crowd and reach the bar's counter, a small smile playing on her lips. Perhaps Owen was right to tease her – when they were together, Davi was all she could see.

Even in a crowded bar, filled to the roof with music, chatter and flat-screens, each of those broadcasting a different program.

But when a name came up, she didn't miss it.

"...important contribution of General Kenobi." She turned to look at the closer screen – the one set on the news channel. "The fabled Negotiator has managed to defuse another explosive situation, avoiding certain bloodshed and saving countless lives."

As usual, the Negotiator had refused to be interviewed, but the news station could display a picture from their archives.

Seeing him on the screen always caught her somewhat off guard, partly because it reminded her of her time at The Bucket, partly because she was the only one in their family who knew.

She didn't mind – quite the contrary. It was a good thing her mother didn't now, she worried enough as it was.

So did she – and maybe it was better, knowing precisely where he was and how he was?  
Sometimes. It made her worry and be so proud of him at the same time, but most of the times seeing him on the screen wasn't too bad.

Sometimes it even felt as if he was staring back at her.

Zyva smiled. "Well done, little brother." She whispered quietly to herself.

The speaker moved to another issue, involving "the Hero With No Fear" or something like that, but she turned away. Davi was coming back with their drinks.

* * *

Liked it?  
Hated it?  
Review and let me know 


	11. Far and Away

XI. Far and Away

_Coruscant – 19 Years Before the Battle of Yavin._

If she had not given up her child to the Jedi, perhaps that day Leena would not have felt so restless.

Inexplicably restless – of course, no one could be serene with the turn the central government was taking.

But her anxiety came for deep within her. It was there when she had opened her eyes in the morning and it had never left her through the whole day.

Luckily, it was a slow day at the shop – Owen and Zyva were helping her, while Euan was at the astroport to discuss a shipping with a pilot they knew well.

"Perhaps I'm getting too old…" she wondered, catching her blurry reflection on the counter's polished surface.

Fifty-seven wasn't that old. Her children had virtually taken over the shop – she didn't work nearly as much as she used to.

She tried to think of lighter things – her grandchildren, yesterday evening's call from her daughter Gala – but the uneasiness was still at the back of her mind.

The beeping of a comlink broke the silence and startled her. Zyva or Owen's?

A quick glance proved that it was Zyva's. She saw her answer out of the corner of her eyes – and turned her head so fast her vision blurred for a moment when she saw all color's drain from her daughter's face.

She pushed herself up and reached her side just as Zyva closed the communication. Her eyes were wide in shock.

"Who was it, darling?" Leena asked, willing her voice not to shake.

"Mr. Aidan. T-the owner of The Bucket." Zyva bit on her lower lip. "He…he said there's something strange going on at the Temple." She hesitated, but the look in her mother's eyes forced to relay everything. "He said...it's full of Troopers. It sounds like…there's a battle going on…"

Leena felt all her anxiety drain from her. She suddenly felt cold, very cold – from her toes to the top of her head, her whole body was enclosed in ice.

Yet her blood boiled as if she had a fever.

"Mother!" Zyva gripped her arms worriedly, fearing the older woman would faint.

For a moment, they held on to each other in a whirlwind of emotions. Then Leena squeezed her daughter's shoulder and broke out of her embrace.

She strode to the other side of the room, pushing away her son without hearing a single word he said. She grabbed an old blaster from under the counter, then turned to her children.

"Stay here." She ordered in a voice they had never heard her before.

Owen tried to protest – Zyva only leaned against a shelf for support. The neon light caught on something on her cheek.

Leena belatedly realized what it was.

Tears. On her strong, stubborn Zyva's cheek.

She turned away and strode out. Owen moved to follow her, but Zyva gripped his shoulder and shook her head.

If she had forgotten her child, Leena wouldn't have stormed out like that.

She walked quickly, almost ran through the small streets, sustained by a feverish energy. She felt caught in a dream, yet more lucid than ever.

She didn't know how long she had walked – it seemed to her she had covered the long distance from her house in a few minutes when the tiny shuttle appeared, leaving a trail of black smoke in the sky.

It had been heavily damaged , but somebody was still attempting to direct its fall.

After a few seconds, it disappeared behind the buildings, followed by the loud noise of metal hitting metal.

Leena quickened her pace. There was a square up ahead – she was sure the ship had crashed there.

If it hadn't been for her son, she wouldn't have reached the square from that small alley.

The square was empty, save for the wrecked shuttle. The two occupants were getting out – one of them, a boy judging from his slight frame, was wounded: the other person, a woman, was practically dragging him.

Even from that distance, she could recognize their Jedi robes.

She looked on, hiding behind the corner of the street, and pulled the blaster out from its hiding place.

As she did so, somebody shot at the two Jedi – the blasts deflected by the older one, but just barely.

Holding tightly onto the wounded boy, she jumped on the other side of the wreck, covering behind it.

Other blasts. The Jedi's improvised refuge wouldn't hold for much longer. Two Clone Troopers advanced into Leena's line of vision, firing steadily.

They also had their back turned on her.

Calmly, she raised the blaster and switched from "stun" to "maximum energy." She aimed at one Trooper, steadying her right hand with the other, and pulled the trigger.

The clone staggered forward, while his companion turned to shoot at the unknown assailant.

Her back pressed against the wall, Leena watched the two blasts hit the corner of the building in a shower of sparkles.

Another sound – like a hiss – and the unmistakable thuds of two bodies hitting the ground.

Slowly, cautiously, Leena crept to the corner again and peered into the square: the two Troopers were dead, while the Jedi Master was helping the apprentice up.

Leena decided not to risk going out in the square, but signal her presence from the alley. "This way! Hurry!"

The Master hesitated for a second, then decided to trust her. As soon as they reached her, Leena made the boy lean on her as well.

"Come." She said, leading them away as quickly as she could.

Leena guided them through small, winding streets, trying to run into as many crossroads as possible. She had to get the Jedi to the shop quickly – but she didn't want them to trace her or her family.

She realized grimly that she didn't exactly know who "them" were.

* * *

Euan squeezed her hand as the holo of Palpatine's message – or should we say alibi – was broadcasted again. 

Her hand was cold… He pulled it between his own larger ones, trying to warm it up.

He expected her to flinch at his touch – but she didn't. He almost wished she had.

Then, her fingers curled on his palm for a moment, like the shadow of a caress.

There were only them and Zyva – Leena had sent Owen back to his own family as soon as they had arrived home.

If they were found out, he could claim he didn't know. Perhaps it wouldn't be enough to save him – but perhaps it would.

At the moment, they were discussing how to help the Jedi escape Coruscant.

"We have a shipping to Z'trop tomorrow." Euan said. "It has been arranged for months – and I discussed the details over one week ago."

Zyva nodded. "Good thinking, dad."

"Very good." Leena said. "How do we smuggle them on board? It's a cargo ship."

"We could hide them in the bigger crates. There's more than enough space." Euan said.

"Two big crates more than specified?" Zyva shook her head. "That will look suspicious."

"Not if we split the cargo in big crates and smaller ones." Leena said. "If we redistribute the fabric and pack the smaller crates as much as possible…"

"It might work." Euan nodded and grabbed his datapad, beginning to calculate how to split the cargo.

"Do you think splitting it up like that will look suspicious?" Leena mused.

Zyva stood up with a glint in her eyes. "Not if our bigger crates were accidentally damaged."  
Leena nodded slowly, then she stood up as well. "It's settled. I'll go and inform our guests."

She walked out of the kitchen and into Owen's old room – which happened to be far from the stairs and overlooking another back alley.

When she came in, Thalos Mor, the boy, was asleep – covered with all the bacta patches of the house. His Master was sitting at his side, watching him worriedly.

'Like a mother with her child.' Leena thought while pain gripped her heart again.

Ran Qa looked up at her, but Leena spoke before she could. "How is he?"

Ran Qa turned her gaze back on Thalos. "Much better. And all thanks to you." She looked into the older woman's eyes. "You saved us."

"You're not safe yet." Leena sighed. "We have a plan to get you out of Coruscant."

The Jedi Master listened silently as their hostess explained, then commented, "It sounds like a good plan."

"If it works, then it's good. But once on Z'trop, you'll be on your own. Have you considered changing your appearances a bit more?"

"Besides the robes?" Ran asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. Zyva used to mess with her hair when she was younger, there must be some spray-on dye left. You could cut your hair – although your Padawan is the one who really ought to do it. That braid screams Jedi as loud as your robes."

"I doubt he will agree…" Despite the situation, Ran Qa smiled at her Padawan and ran a hand down his arm.

"In that case, he'll need something to hide it under. He can have Owen's old Spacehunters hat – unless he's a Comet fan."

She smiled at that attempted joke. "It will be fine. Thank you for all your help. You and your family are risking so much for our sake – and we have no way to repay you."

"You don't have to." Leena answered. She could feel the question hanging in the air.

She wrapped her arms around her body and turned away from them, leaning against the window-frame.

Perhaps Ran Qa did ask it out loud – or perhaps it was just an echo of her own thoughts.

Leena could barely make out the shape of the buildings in the dark. Heavy clouds covered the sky, hiding the stars.

"Thirty-eight years ago, I had a son. I called him Ben." She sighed. "He was with me for seven months and a half – then I had to give him up to the Temple."

A sharp intake of breath came from behind her, but Leena found she couldn't stop talking.

"You probably knew him. I don't know what his name is now. I had his news twenty years ago – we have had business with the Temple, I made sure we did, and his Master came to the shop to pay a bill. I don't know his name, either. It was all by chance."

Leena took a deep breath. "He talked to me about my Ben. He said he was happy." She swallowed hard. "When we gave him up, Ben was just beginning to talk. I had nightmares for years – I'd dream of my baby crying and calling for his mama…" she shivered. "...and I wasn't there."

"It must have been a great relief when that Jedi Master told you about him." Ran Qa murmured quietly, just to fill the silence.

Leena nodded slowly. "That was…the only time I ever heard about him. I never saw his Master again – but I wasn't expecting to." She leaned her cheek against the cold glass. "All these years… with all those Knights dying in the war…every time I told myself I couldn't be sure. My son couldn't possibly be dead. My Ben would surely live through the war. But now…"

Ran Qa saw Leena clench her fists so tightly her knuckles whitened.

"I hope he's dead. I hope he died years and years ago – I hope that he didn't have to see this, that he didn't have to die like this…" Her voice trembled, close to breaking point.

The Jedi Master did not speak – there was nothing she could say. She had realized who her son was only as Leena spoke but, really, it was evident once one knew where to look. What truly surprised her was that no one else in the family had ever noticed the resemblance with the famous general and war-hero. But perhaps they had unconsciously preferred not to.

She had no means of knowing if Obi-Wan Kenobi had survived the purge. It didn't seem probable.

"I must be such a terrible mother…"

Automatically, Ran Qa reached for Thalos' hand and held it tight.

"No, you're not." She said in a voice that didn't leave place for replies or doubts.

* * *

The starship left for Z'trop perfectly on time. 

Leena and Euan stood on the dock, watching it slip away for Coruscant as slowly and as gracefully as a swan.

It drifted up at minimum speed, steadily growing smaller until all that remained was the flickering dots of light of the engines and then nothing at all.

Euan gently took his wife by the hand and lead her back to the cab parking.

She was probably wondering why he had agreed to help the Jedi even when it was clear it would have been dangerous.

But it was fine.

He too was wondering why she didn't flinch every time he touched her, why she still hadn't shouted at him.

In her place, he would have.

He felt as if he had been stabbed in the heart, but that was surely nothing compared to Leena's pain.

She had never stopped loving Ben.

But in the end, Ben was **_his_** son too.

He had kept a spot in his father's heart as well – Euan had just forgotten to look that way.

But it was there and now it bled.

It was all his fault.

He had agreed to give him up. He had assumed that it would be for the best, that Ben would be all right.

How wrong he had been.

Leena was quiet – too quiet. She sat by his side, hands folded in her lap, watching the buildings race by.

He realized she had not shed a single tear.

After paying for the taxi, he and Leena went into the shop. As she took off her hat and cape, Zyva came running down the stairs.

When she saw them, she stopped dead in her tracks, staring at her mother with wide eyes. "Mom – your hair…"

Her hair – her pretty dark brown hair – had turned white overnight.

Euan reached out and pulled her to his chest, holding her as tight as he dared.

In that precise moment, he realized that he would lose her soon.

He didn't know whether he was about to cry or shout when he felt her wraps her arms around his neck.

He just pressed a kiss against her forehead and held her close.

_Five years, eight months, two weeks and four days later, Leena passed beyond the veil._

* * *

Hi everyone - I'm back from summer break! Hope you liked this chapter - it was one of the first I thought of, actually, even if it ended up being closer to the end.

As usual, leave a review and let me know what you think :-)


	12. Fields of Gold

**XII. Fields of Gold**

_Five years, eight months, two weeks and four day__s after Order 66._

The Force.

It moves the galaxies.

It's everywhere, in every single being. In every single thing.

Everything that is, was or will be.

Everything. Everywhere.

When a living being dies, it will be flooded by billions and billions of data on every possible thing in existence.

No living thing, no soul can possibly resist it.

The information overload is what actually causes the phenomenon commonly known as "fading in the Force."

But there are exceptions.

There are…unwritten rules.

Rules that are above the Force itself.

Such are the Rule of Unfinished Business and the Rule of Focus.

When Leena stepped across the line that separates Life and Death, she too was submerged with facts and information – but they simply slid off her soul, like drops of rain on a window.

She paid them no attention – she truly couldn't care less about all that stuff.

The only thing she cared about was finding out where her Ben was and what had happened to him.

And find out she did.

As she watched his life pass before her eyes, Leena pursed her lips into a thin line – the thinner it became the more she saw.

"It was for this that I gave up my son..."

She said as she watched him on Tatooine – worn out by pain and guilt, holding on to duty alone. Her voice was dripping with venom.

The Force spoke.

**As It Was Planned**

"As YOU planned." Leena corrected .

If it had had a body, the Force would have shrugged.

**Thus It Went**

**Thus It Was Meant To Be**

Waves of countless facts and details advanced – only to break against the pillar of white-hot fury Leena had become.

"Don't you dare to try that with me. I have no intention of fading." She glared.

**Thou Cannot Stay**

"I will stay." She said firmly. "I'm not moving from here until my son has finished. For good."

The Force groaned and took note to go back working with orphans. It was easier and didn't bring unexpected thorns in one's side – the latter being something the Force did not take to graciously.

There was no reasoning with the woman.

Another form drifted closer.

Leena recognized him immediately. "Master Jedi. We meet again."

"Madam." Qui-Gon Jinn bowed respectfully. "Indeed we do." He glanced down to Tatooine. "And it's the same person to bind us."

Leena nodded, her eyes fixed on her child.

"It sounds like you will be here for some time." Qui-Gon added.

"Oh, yes. I have much to do."

"You'll wait for Obi-Wan?"

"Not only for him."

Unconsciously, she gave the Force and the universe at large The Look.

A mother's exclusive, it was the kind of look that could make even the most egoistical and spoiled child burst into hysterical tears, apologize profusely and promise he would never do that again.

"You just wait until I get my hands on that Anakin guy…"

* * *

A ripple ran through the Force. 

It sent a shiver down Darth Vader's spine, who quickly and angrily dismissed that feeling.

On the other side of the galaxy, Obi-Wan Kenobi slept peacefully for the first time in years.

In his dreams – in what he later identified as dreams – there was warmth, a warmth that touched his soul like a loving embrace…

There was a woman he felt he knew. Though he couldn't make out her face, he remembered a smile.

There was a voice and there was a song – both supposedly long forgotten. Yet they felt real, so real…

"_Slower and slower and slower the wheel swings_

_Lower and lower and lower the reel rings_

'_Ere the reel and the wheel stop their ringing and moving_

_Through the grove the young lovers by moonlight are roving_"

As he woke up, he could have sworn he heard them echo and fade among the walls of his hideout.

"_Merrily cheerily noiselessly whirring_

_Swings the wheel, spins the wheel…_"

* * *

Liked it? 

Hated it?Leave a review and let me know

See ya soon with the last chapter.


	13. Epilogue

XIII. Epilogue

He had felt the Force humming all day. He didn't need to consult it to know what was about to come.

They say death is cold.

He felt only heat.

First the sizzling heat of the red lightsaber. Then the Force, all around him – still humming, he thought it would stop with his death, but it didn't, it was still there at the back of that infinite knowledge.

They say that when you die, your life passes in front of your eyes.

He felt himself fall down, down and fast. All he saw was a room at sunset – he could feel the warm sun on his face again, yes, again. He had been there before.

A dark-haired woman, cuddling a baby and singing.

A song.

The song.

His oldest memory.

The Force again, like a wave, sweeping all over him – threatening to take over.

But…

"_Merrily, cheerily, noiselessly whirring_

_Swings the wheel, spins the wheel while the foot's stirring…_"

The voice was there.

It was real.

It was singing for him.

Obi-Wan pushed toward it, stubbornly, unwaveringly - until he found her.

She smiled at him with tear-filled eyes.

He knew that face. He knew that smile.

The next moment, he was back in her arms and it felt warm, even if they were just ghosts.

As he hugged her back, one word fluttered to his lips – the word that he had been searching for whenever he heard the song, the word that used to hide behind the notes and all the lyrics. It had always been there, at the back of his mind – and now he grasped it and said it out loud.

"Mother."

* * *

Author's note: The last chapter... (sniffles) 

It was so hard to post, I really didn't want this to end. What can I say?

You reviewers were wonderful – each and every one of you. Thank you so much for taking the time to drop those few words that invariably made my day, I wouldn't have done it without your support.

Same goes for those who showed how much they liked this story by adding it to their favorites or their story alert.

So thank you, Daughter of Olorin, Alien Roxi, Phantom-jedi1, Frodogenic, Sexy Scottish Accent, I Cyn I, Kyer, Kelev, Alliehalliwell, StormieSkywalker, BookloverFanatic, Ann Jinn, Tenshi Aine, SabeOnPaper, Lupis Lunae, Soul of a Young Man, Tiogasnowwolf, Xyraeliemna, Bek-K, DarthBecky, HaChosenOne, Lincoln Six Echo, Sammy Solo, Blueoctober, Jedi17.

Thank you so very much. You are the best.


End file.
